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You Suck: A Love Story Review

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(More customer reviews)In You Suck, Christopher Moore returns to the characters who made him famous nearly a decade earlier in his absurdist vampire tale Bloodsucking Fiends. Young newbie vampire couple Jody and C. Thomas Flood are still in the Bay Area, trying to move out of town after imprisoning the 800 year-old-vampire Elijah Ben Sapir in a bronze cast to keep him out of the way. The Animals from Thomas's old stockboy days are still causing trouble, this time with a Vegas call girl of expensive tastes whose skin is dyed blue.
The highlight of the novel is the new character Abby Normal, a moody teenage vampire wannabe who identifies Thomas's otherworldly nature in a drugstore and becomes his minion. Abby is refreshingly naive and eager-to-please as she speaks in gothic prose with her Dark Lord and his Countess Jody. The most winning chapters are told in her gangster/Olde English/squealing teenage voice from her diary.
As a longtime fan, I'm disappointed in Moore's latest effort. The biggest failing is that it is entirely without a plot. The book's entire premise is "a sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends," and one must wonder what kind of cash Moore got from his publishers to take the task on. The only driving force is Jody and Thomas's need to leave San Francisco after promising the homicide cops from the first book that they would do so. The hijinks of the novel center on this flimsy premise, and the effort falls flat. No longer are the absurd situations, darkly humorous banter, and bloodlust perks of great fiction; rather, they are all this novel has, and even the banter gets tiring. Jody and Thomas are constantly "fighting" and making up. Abby Normal is the saving grace of the novel, but even she can't carry it all on her own.
Moore fans will delight in the return of the old detective pair from Bloodsucking Fiends and Practical Demonkeeping, as well as a cameo by Charlie Asher of A Dirty Job. Newbies should definitely choose the masterpiece Lamb as a first Moore work, and then try out his vampire works.

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A Dirty Job: A Novel Review

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(More customer reviews)I tell you how much of a Moore junky I am - although I am just now in England, and thus cannot easily get a hard copy of "Dirty Job," I downloaded the audiobook for this because I just...couldn't...wait. There should be a support group for people like me, people that like to laugh uncontrollably when reading/listening in public, people who appreciate the fine art of wedding a raunchy attitude, a comic genius, a knack for REALLY fun secondary characters, and the End of the Universe As We Know It into a single novel. If you are a fellow junkie, rejoice; Moore is in top form here (I would place it up with "Lamb" and "Bloodsucking Fiends," but everyone in the group is likely to have different favorites). If you are compelled to the audiobook, the actor Fisher Stevens does a dynamite job of reading.
In "Dirty Job," Moore returns to his favorite haunt, San Francisco, with a winsome new hero, Charlie Asher. Following the death of his beloved wife Rachel after the birth of daughter Sophie, Charlie learns he has become a sort of Death Merchant, responsible for retrieving the souls of the recently departed from the material objects they most loved. However, various forces of Darkness would like to get their hands on these things, so Charlie must battle harpies demons and various other devils, while protecting Sophie from their murderous schemes.
That's about all I'm going to say about the plot. Really, I don't think it's possible to summarize a Moore plot in a public place without risk of arrest. I will only say that "Dirty Job" contains all the elements of Moore's unique type of lunacy -
(1) the perfect willingness for Guys to be Guys, sex-obsessed and confounded by women, but fundamentally good guys nevertheless.
(2) the dark and supernatural
(3) the happy realization that sex is both fun and hilarious,
(4) the deadpan secondary characters (the goth store cleck Lilly , along with the ex-cop Ray, the wacky widows who babysit Sophie),
(5) pure silliness (the manual for the Death Merchants has an opening chapter...."So Now You're Death.")
(6) less fortunately, a descent into chaos as the plot attempts to reach some conclusion. In "Dirty Job" this involves the seventh-inning appearance of little 14-inch high creatures made out of animal skulls, big hams, and chicken feet, and dressed in 18th-century costumes.
Moore is not in any sense politically correct, he is adamant about his women being sex objects, about his ethnic characters hewing to stereotype in comic fashion (the Chinese babysitter steals every sort of animal for her stewpot), etc. If that stuff offends you stay WAY the heck away from this.
And get your head examined man. Life is just too short not to laugh this hard.

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Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story Review

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(More customer reviews)Quick personal note; My wife and I have twin 18 month old boys. I stay home with them during the day and work until 1:30 AM. Time is at a premium in my life right now. There's not much to spare and whatever spare time I can get a hold of would most likely be better spent sleeping. That being said, Christopher Moore's Blood Sucking Fiends hooked me the first night I opened the cover and kept me up until nearly 4AM.
I am a long time fan of horror and it would take quite some book to unnerve me to the point of insomnia. It wasn't a late night case of the heeby-jeebies that kept me up. It was the laughter and engaging characters. Moore has a relaxed witty style that translates to a very fast read. All of the characters in Fiends are incredibly likeable (save one) and the story is humorous and engaging. This fresh take on the joys and advantages of being a vampire set in San Franscisco made me want to walk the city and see the sites. I longed to meet a vivacious red-headed blood sucker who would set me up in an apartment and treat me like a cross between Stoker's Renfield and one of Cher's boy toys. I wanted to take the emperor to lunch with his dogs and become engaged to seven Chinese brothers so they could get their green cards. I wanted to work late nights stocking shelves in a supermarket and go bowling with frozen turkeys. (Oh, wait a sec. I have worked in a supermarket overnight and Moore knows exactly what goes on there.)
Christopher Moore weaves all of the above seamlessly and with great humor and affection to create one of the most enjoyable reads of recent memory. More Moore is on it's way to my house as we speak and I can't wait to read his advice on "Practical Demonkeeping" and see what happens in his world when a giant reptile is awakened by radioactive waste in "The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove".I may have a new favorite author.

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This Too Can Be Yours Review

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(More customer reviews)This Too Can Be Yours is a collection of short stories with first person narratives that will crack you up. Lisick has grown past her first collection, Monkey Girl, into an even better writer.

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Artificial Imagination (Special Edition): A Humorous Photostory Of A Journey Through Washington, California And Tennessee Review

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(More customer reviews)great book! love it!

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This expanded Second Edition of the book was published on May 27, 2011 and has 12 new chapters.

This humorous photo-book follows one man's journey through United States as he ventures from Silicon Valley to Seattle, San Francisco to San Diego in a quest for his dream job and his search for a place he could call home.

The book starts in 1987, at University of California campus in Davis, where it all began, where Artificial Imagination was conceived.We then fast forward by 15 years to 2002. Our main character, a Executive in the Software industry and working in Silicon Valley. Soon, he is heading to Seattle to work for Amazon.com at a lower level management position.

We read one lively story after another about the life in the Northwest and learn about his lovely wife and two daughters.

Our adventurer then heads to Nashville to work for a software company, and finally returns to California, when he gets caught in the infamous wild fires of 2007. Kudos to the author to be able to find humor in the middle of the Inferno!

A Review by John Lehman,the author of Everything is changingA Review by John Lehman,the author of Everything is changing

I was half way through this book when I realized it is almost poetry in the form of prose. I am not just referring to the short paragraphs, but the imaginative leaps, stunning imagery and most importantly, words which hook us in, make us think this is our story . . . . We see them on the page but live them in the theater of our imagination.

This book reminds us that we share the mysteries of the human mind and soul, no matter what our occupation, no matter where we were born. "Why I am here may appear to be a simple question, but . . . is there a deeper purpose of being where we are?" We know that the question applies not only to the location where we spend our lives, but also to overall existence, and our place in the time continuum.

Just as the author who traveled from New Delhi to Silicon Valley felt he has traveled forty years into the future, so do I, sitting in the agricultural landscape of Wisconsin felt that I have had a glimpse into the vitality of the Hi-Tech worlds of California and Seattle.

I feel I am in the hands of a good guide. Here is what it means to do research in Computers: "Rip apart an electronic system and you see nothing moving, nothing vibrating, it's almost a make-believe world, a child's fantasy, a writer's imagination."

and what it means to yearn for acceptance:"I looked at Seattle's glistening skyline on one side and its beautiful waterfront on the other and asked it the same questions I had asked San Francisco 16 years ago: will it accept me? Or will its people treat me as someone different, not one of the? And will I accept it, call it my home? Right then, she appeared from no where, as if the city had sent her to answer my questions . . ."

I loved the section addressing Seattle's slacker sun, that comes late to work, like at 9 AM and goes back home at 4, the observation that for males, until the age eight, we want every young woman to be our mother, then for the next thirty years our friend and when we have daughters, we feel like bringing every young woman a glass of warm milk and cookies.

His first day in Nashville, the author looks out of his window and sees snow. The conclusion he draws about the snow flakes very fittingly describes his life and the message we can take with us from this hip, funny, poignant, beautiful book: "the snowflakes descend slowly, floating in the air, allowing the current to carry them with it, letting it change their paths. They have chosen not to confront their destiny, choosing instead to enjoy every second of their short lives, their journey to the ground."

Welcome home, Kalpanik!

John Lehman, author of Everything is Changing

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Regarding Ducks and Universes Review

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(More customer reviews)Quantum mechanics is one of the most successful theories of modern physics. It works, but nobody quite knows what it means in a fundamental sense. One popular current hypothesis of its meaning is Parallel Worlds - every time two possible outcomes exist (such as a coin flip - heads or tails), the universe splits and each possibility comes true in one of the resultant universes. With time, the two universes will begin to differ as many choices end up being made differently between the two universes.
This is Ms. Maslakovic's first novel, and she has a PhD in electrical engineering which helps her with the scientific side of the story. She bases her book on a parallel universe splitting off, but in this case a scientist has somehow succeeded in maintaining a connection between the two parallel universes. People can even travel between the universes and meet their alternate self who slowly begins to differ over time, becoming more like a fraternal twin. Our hero, Felix Sayers, is considering writing a mystery novel and becomes obsessed that his Alternate will beat him to the punch, so he decides to travel to universe B. While there, someone seems to be trying to kill him. Is someone, and if so, could it be his alternate?
Hmm. This is not the strongest concept to base a novel, but the book turns out to be interesting, lighthearted and it reads quickly. In fact, perhaps it reads too quickly? It does not seem to me that Ms. Maslakovic has included much character development, and there are not complete enough scene descriptions. I recently listened to the audio version of Masques by Patricia Briggs. In the introduction, Ms. Briggs notes that this was her very first book (and it had not done well), but she is now successful and had been given a chance to rewrite it. Ms. Briggs says ruefully about the rewrite, "Why didn't anyone tell me I needed a few descriptions?" I think that Ms. Maslakovic also could have done quite a bit more description-wise. Finally, there is a romantic entanglement story line that could have been better fleshed out giving emotional depth to the character, but has been neglected by the author. However, is Regarding Ducks and Universes a good book despite all this? Yes. It just means it is 4 stars rather than 5 stars. I look forward to reading her next novel, but more descriptions please!

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Everybody into the Pool: True Tales Review

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(More customer reviews)Some days I resent life as a Midwestern suburban mom. I don't discover trends or talents until they've been around long enough to bore my hipper and more cosmopolitan friends. That feeling was never more acute as I read Everybody Into the Pool: True Tales by Beth Lisick.
Every other paragraph had me laughing out loud, even as I lamented the fact I identified more with her naïve and sincere parents than her. I swear she channeled my own Catholic school girl experience with The Apostles Creed (the solo performance of all the memorized prayers, a bored yet perfectly timed recitation delivered hip thrust out) and those early days as a new mom with all the other mommies so together and their babies so stylish while I considered it a huge accomplishment to get in the shower at some point.
Sure, Everybody Into the Pool isn't for everyone. Readers of a more conservative nature might not appreciate her gung-ho yet futile attempts at bisexuality nor the irony of her temp job selling raffle tickets at a Catholic church fundraiser so she could raise the last $40 she needed to fund an abortion. She writes of life among IV drug user, child drug runners, and a day of sewage raining down upon her boyfriend's illegal warehouse apartment without gloss or angry defiance. It just is, like everything else in Lisick's world: sometimes sad, sometimes a struggle, but always worthy of a good laugh. I look forward to her next book, Help Me Help Myself. This time I'm only a few weeks behind.

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Artificial Imagination: A Humorous Photo Story Of A Journey Through California, Seattle And Nashville Review

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(More customer reviews)Great book, love it! It's hilarious! I could not stop giggling, I cracked up page after page. Really Nice!
And so many nice photographs. I was traveling with the author, feeling his ambitions, his surprise, excitement and pain. And what a brave soul! He (yes, despite its claims to have been written by an AI program, this book is written by a loving, feeling, breathing human for sure!)--He is able to maintain his sense of humor even as he moves from one place to another, faces one set back after another! He always comes back!
Wow! What a story!!
Oh, And the love story in the end is touching.

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This is the extended second edition of the full color interior version of the book.

This captivating, new book mixes technologyand art together into a fascinating and philosophical combination.

The book follows one high-tech immigrant's journey through United States as he graduates from University of California and ventures from Silicon Valley to Seattle, Nashville and back to California in a quest for his dream job and his search for a place which accepts him, a place he could call home.

The story is purportedly narrated by anartificial intelligence program with theability to simulate human creativity, sense of humor and spirit of adventure.

Technology is all brain, no heart, all cold logic, and no warm soul, or is it?This gemof a book reminds us that technology could not exist were it not for boundless creativity, and it does this in such a way as to also remind us that without that very same creativity, there would be no art, no literature.

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No Guns, No Knives, No Personal Checks: The Tales of a San Francisco Cab Driver Review

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(More customer reviews)He eats Cheerios after getting home at 5:30 a.m. What no Maui Wowie? No London Iced Tea? He dutifully calls his girlfriend. Well, actually they aren't that friendly. (The girlfriend is an untold story.) He doesn't do anything or report on anything or do more than allude to anything but driving a cab. And he's very serious about the money. And the tips, and how to get them and how you can blow them off. He gives us the meter to the penny, and reports on the tip to the dime. But you can tell he really doesn't care. He worries about getting mugged and barfed on. He's patience and tolerant. But he's always smelling things. He looks for a dump in the backseat of his cab after some smelly guy has left. He can't find it. So he drives to a more lighted spot and searches some more. Nothing. Maybe he's losing it. His mind.
It's hard to tell at the beginning whether this is a memoir or a reportage. It reads like a string of closely related vignettes. But there is something holding it together. Hard to tell what it is. Except for the cab and The City and the derelicts and the poseurs and the transvestites and the drunks and the old people and the fat people and the night and the lights and the fear. Fear of guns and knives, or fear of being trapped in the job? He isn't sure. He tells himself he's driving a cab for the experience, to get material for The Novel. It's a sick world out there in the inner city. People are weird. He's taking notes and transcribing them when he gets home, turning it into Fiction.
He has a hero. Supercabman--himself. And he's a good hero, a cabbie psychologist and a wordsmith with a sharp satirical eye. He sizes people up, notes what they're wearing from their black leather pants to the grease spots on their shirts to their nose rings and bad teeth and bad breath and bad dye jobs, and how they are comporting themselves. Especially how they are comporting themselves. He has to. At three a.m. you don't want to make a mistake. Somebody's waving you down. Does he want a ride or your wad of bills? Hard to tell sometimes. Supercabman sees the city and it denizens without pity but then again with a minimum of judgment.
The cab's computer beeps messages. Sometimes he sends one himself. It sets off car alarms of nearby cars (ha, ha). He has his "cab policies." No smoking. That's tough. He pretends he's on the nicotine patch for commiseration. He has nicotine gum on the dash. Also pepper spray. (No plastic Jesus, though.) He knows how to small talk with the clientele and when Not to Ask and when to shut up. He's shrewd and cynical. Larry Sager is also one heck of a writer. Here's a bit from the "Safe Sex" chapter:
"Circling back and forth between a few different South of Market establishments finally turns up some stragglers: three men coming out of a popular gay bar, THE STUD on Harrison Street. One guy, who could easily pass as a bouncer, is wearing a bright bleached white tank-top tee shirt emphasizing his steroid-induced muscular build--6'3" and at least 225 pounds. His two companions climb into the back seat. One guy could be a GQ model; his partner sports the escaped-convict look--head shaved, beard unshaven, dressed in a Goth black shirt and black pants. And someone, pray tell, has taken several sharp metallic objects and run them straight through his face. It looks painful, but doesn't seem to bother him. Of the group, I spotted him first and I wasn't going to stop. But when GQ playfully grabbed the metal-pierced escaped-convict's buttocks, and both seemed to enjoy the routine, realized they were together and figured they were a safe pick-up. If anyone looking like Thug is flagging me from a ragged street corner in the Tenderloin, I do NOT stop." (p. 99)
The real strength of the book is in the sharp observations that Sager's alter ego makes about his passengers and himself. A nice technique is for him say one thing and think another, or to reply directly in his head to something somebody has said, but not aloud, as in this exchange with a really, really BAD painter who has just shown him her canvas which he notes to himself is "hideous awful":
"I still have some touching up to do," she says, as if expecting to hear an objection
from me regarding her own "harsh" criticism.
How about touching it up with kerosene and putting a match to it?
"Oh," I nod instead, pursing my lips tightly. (p. 214)
There are some nice line drawings by Shanon Essex and one by Emil of some of the characters to grace the text. I think Sager might have intended this opus originally as journalism, but found as he wrote the improvised dialogue (both interior and exterior) and the flights of fancy he took with some of the characters, that this story of a time in his life was better told as fiction.
Finally I have to note that this IS a novel however episodically constructed, and a very clever and original one, because suddenly there is an ending that catches us by surprise. Suddenly there is a denouement in the last chapter as he lets a passenger take over his cab. Suddenly the novel is over and we see the point of all that has gone before. There are a few solitary whiskeys, a phone call to the offstage girlfriend, a bit of haziness and then the end to an experience.

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A Pointed Death (Pointer Mystery Series) Review

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(More customer reviews)A Pointed Death is a very well written, compelling mystery that brings together murder, corporate intrigue, bioscience, and one truly fine pointer dog named Skootch. In the interest of full disclosure, I must reveal that the author was kind enough to provide me with a copy of her book in exchange for a fair and honest review. I must also state that I have never given a five star rating to a first time author with a self published novel. This one is truly deserving.
I started this book with much trepidation. I know nothing about the biotechnology business or finance, two areas that play a large role in this story. For the first thirty pages or so, I was feeling a bit lost as the author seemed to be providing me with too much information. It wasn't long however until her characters of Nola, Janie Belle, and of course Skootch had me completely invested in the story. When Nola discovered a headless body that just happened to belong to a disgraced ex-employee, I was intrigued. When she met Harrison, fraud detective with caramel eyes, I was even more intrigued. When she started playing amateur sleuth and began discovering all the intricate threads that connected into a very ugly web of corporate and international crime I was totally hooked.
The author has a very readable writing style that flows well. She infuses her story with quite a bit of humour, often provided by Skootch the totally lovable dog. Nola is a fierce middle aged woman, often despairing of her current situations, but ever confident in her own abilities. She's a great character; a woman of intelligence and talent who steadfastly refuses to take herself too seriously. Her relationship with Harrison was very nicely portrayed in a way that added further unexpected depth to Nola's character.
The author obviously loves San Francisco as she includes a lot of descriptions of the city and it's surroundings. I was initially a bit put off by this, but soon came to appreciate the role the city played in the story. Her descriptions are so well done she has essentially created another character. By the end, I felt that I had actually been there.
As with all mysteries, in the end, the plot is the thing, and that is perhaps what surprised me most about this book. It is just expertly paced and plotted. There were no gaping holes of implausibility, no chapters that should have been left out or repetition of facts, or any of those other elements that often plague first time writers. This is a great example of mystery storytelling. I now know a bit more about finance, biotech, San Francisco, Episcopal Church Services, and Pointer Dogs. I was also late for work and fixed my kids frozen pizza for dinner so I could finish this up and find out how it ended! The author states in her final acknowledgements that this is a "silly escapist book". Perhaps I will only add that this is in fact a thinking person's escapist book. It was a fun ride and one that I would recommend to any mystery lover.

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San Francisco's Best Dive Bars: Drinking and Diving in the City by the Bay Review

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(More customer reviews)Todd Dayton's book, "San Francisco's Best Dive Bars" is one of the most engagingly, wittily written guides that has ever been written.
It's about time that someone took the time and effort to lovingly describe an essential part of any major city: its dive bars. San Francisco in particular has a large, colorful lot to choose from.
Of course, the book is not quite exhaustive, but it does a very good job of accurately capturing the vibe, charms, denizens, and atmosphere of each of SF's best dive bars.
I'm slightly ashamed to admit that before reading this book, I'd already been to half of Todd's top ten SF dives. 'The Brown Jug' is one that came highly recommended in this book as a quintessential dive, so I went last night... and wasn't disappointed.
Immediately upon entering the 'Jug'-- which proudly has an excerpt from Todd's guide plastered on the front door-- we were greeted with witty, drunken banter and laughing before we could even sit down. These people are a hoot. Overheard at the bar, within the first 30 seconds upon entering:
patron: (in boastful drunkenese) "I'm normal... and I've got the papers to prove it!"
bartender: (in an incredulous tone) "Why would you need papers to prove that you're normal?"
It doesn't get any better than this. Some of the descriptions of Dayton's favorite dives are laugh-out-loud funny, even more so if you're already familiar with that bar, because his descriptions are so spot-on. I am a HUGE fan now.
Particularly hilarious are the reviews on "Hawaii West" (went there last night, and true to form, the owner was the drunkest, loudest one in there), "Trad'r Sam's", and the "Ha-Ra". Anyone who knows or has met the bartender Carl at the Ha-Ra will soil themselves with laughter. It's so true.
In summary, anyone who has cast a loving eye on San Francisco's best dive bars and anyone who can see the beauty in the scruffy, run-down, faded glory and charm of a good dive bar will love this book. It is downright inspiring. Todd Dayton is a poet with a true love of the dive bar and all that it has to offer.

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The second title in our Dive Bar series, San Francisco's Best Dive Bars will show you where to leave your liver in the city where many others have left their hearts, with opinionated reviews of over 90 of the grungiest and grittiest drinking establishments in San Francisco. If you want to avoid the tourist traps listed in those "other" bar guides and find out where the "real" people do their drinking, then San Francisco's Best Dive Bars, like its New York predecessor, is the drinking person's guide to the delightfully filthy underside of San Francisco bar life.Todd Dayton has written for the San Francisco Examiner, San Francisco Weekly, Expedia.com, and numerous other print and online publications.

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Finding the Sweet Spot - The Insider's Guide to Parking in San Francisco Review

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(More customer reviews)I received this book as a "gag gift" as I have become notorious among my entourage for collecting parking tickets in SF...
This book is great, it is easy to read and will actually make you laugh at every page. It brings good insight as to how to read the parking signs and the colored curbs along with some handy parking tricks. I have put my new knowledge to use and I have since then not only been ticket-free but I save precious time every day looking for a spot.
This book is definitely worth its weight in parking tickets, return on investment guaranteed.
Phil, San Francisco

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Finding the Sweet Spot offers practical, creative, and insightful solutions to the most aggravating, frustrating, and intimidating aspect of the San Francisco urban experience: PARKING! This indispensable guide, loaded with previously-unpublished information, takes a keep-it-simple approach and applies keen wit plus local wisdom to the problem that befuddles tourists and bedevils residents of the City by the Bay.

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