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Going Postal Review

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(More customer reviews)Okay, so admittedly the cliche about "going postal" is starting to get old, but this book has to be one of the best I read in the past year. The ending fizzled a bit IMO; the ride to get there, however, is well worth it!

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You Suck: A Love Story Review

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(More customer reviews)In You Suck, Christopher Moore returns to the characters who made him famous nearly a decade earlier in his absurdist vampire tale Bloodsucking Fiends. Young newbie vampire couple Jody and C. Thomas Flood are still in the Bay Area, trying to move out of town after imprisoning the 800 year-old-vampire Elijah Ben Sapir in a bronze cast to keep him out of the way. The Animals from Thomas's old stockboy days are still causing trouble, this time with a Vegas call girl of expensive tastes whose skin is dyed blue.
The highlight of the novel is the new character Abby Normal, a moody teenage vampire wannabe who identifies Thomas's otherworldly nature in a drugstore and becomes his minion. Abby is refreshingly naive and eager-to-please as she speaks in gothic prose with her Dark Lord and his Countess Jody. The most winning chapters are told in her gangster/Olde English/squealing teenage voice from her diary.
As a longtime fan, I'm disappointed in Moore's latest effort. The biggest failing is that it is entirely without a plot. The book's entire premise is "a sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends," and one must wonder what kind of cash Moore got from his publishers to take the task on. The only driving force is Jody and Thomas's need to leave San Francisco after promising the homicide cops from the first book that they would do so. The hijinks of the novel center on this flimsy premise, and the effort falls flat. No longer are the absurd situations, darkly humorous banter, and bloodlust perks of great fiction; rather, they are all this novel has, and even the banter gets tiring. Jody and Thomas are constantly "fighting" and making up. Abby Normal is the saving grace of the novel, but even she can't carry it all on her own.
Moore fans will delight in the return of the old detective pair from Bloodsucking Fiends and Practical Demonkeeping, as well as a cameo by Charlie Asher of A Dirty Job. Newbies should definitely choose the masterpiece Lamb as a first Moore work, and then try out his vampire works.

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A Dirty Job: A Novel Review

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(More customer reviews)I tell you how much of a Moore junky I am - although I am just now in England, and thus cannot easily get a hard copy of "Dirty Job," I downloaded the audiobook for this because I just...couldn't...wait. There should be a support group for people like me, people that like to laugh uncontrollably when reading/listening in public, people who appreciate the fine art of wedding a raunchy attitude, a comic genius, a knack for REALLY fun secondary characters, and the End of the Universe As We Know It into a single novel. If you are a fellow junkie, rejoice; Moore is in top form here (I would place it up with "Lamb" and "Bloodsucking Fiends," but everyone in the group is likely to have different favorites). If you are compelled to the audiobook, the actor Fisher Stevens does a dynamite job of reading.
In "Dirty Job," Moore returns to his favorite haunt, San Francisco, with a winsome new hero, Charlie Asher. Following the death of his beloved wife Rachel after the birth of daughter Sophie, Charlie learns he has become a sort of Death Merchant, responsible for retrieving the souls of the recently departed from the material objects they most loved. However, various forces of Darkness would like to get their hands on these things, so Charlie must battle harpies demons and various other devils, while protecting Sophie from their murderous schemes.
That's about all I'm going to say about the plot. Really, I don't think it's possible to summarize a Moore plot in a public place without risk of arrest. I will only say that "Dirty Job" contains all the elements of Moore's unique type of lunacy -
(1) the perfect willingness for Guys to be Guys, sex-obsessed and confounded by women, but fundamentally good guys nevertheless.
(2) the dark and supernatural
(3) the happy realization that sex is both fun and hilarious,
(4) the deadpan secondary characters (the goth store cleck Lilly , along with the ex-cop Ray, the wacky widows who babysit Sophie),
(5) pure silliness (the manual for the Death Merchants has an opening chapter...."So Now You're Death.")
(6) less fortunately, a descent into chaos as the plot attempts to reach some conclusion. In "Dirty Job" this involves the seventh-inning appearance of little 14-inch high creatures made out of animal skulls, big hams, and chicken feet, and dressed in 18th-century costumes.
Moore is not in any sense politically correct, he is adamant about his women being sex objects, about his ethnic characters hewing to stereotype in comic fashion (the Chinese babysitter steals every sort of animal for her stewpot), etc. If that stuff offends you stay WAY the heck away from this.
And get your head examined man. Life is just too short not to laugh this hard.

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Mr. Monk Goes to the Firehouse Review

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(More customer reviews)I love the Adrian Monk TV show series with Tony Shaloub. I also love ready mystery stories. I was thrilled to see that a book series was beginning that involved this combination. I was very, very eager to enjoy it. I have to be honest and say that I was really disappointed when I was done. I handed the book to my boyfriend without giving him any indication of what I felt. When he was also very disappointed, I know it wasn't just a quirk. It just isn't a great translation of the stellar TV show.
The story is written from the point of view of Monk's assistant, Natalie. Monk's home is being fumigated, so Monk is living with Natalie for the time being. Natalie's daughter is sad because of the murder of a dalmatian at the nearby firehouse. Monk is enlisted to figure this out. Soon there are a few other murders, and Monk of course ties them all together and solves the case.
I normally am thrilled by a "female voice" in a book, and as I've said, I really enjoy the Monk character. On page 2 there was a typo, which of course Monk would have hated. I let it pass. After all, we're only 2 pages into the book. On page 3 is a HUGE issue - Stottlemeyer says his wife would leave him if Monk stayed with them. News flash - Stottlemeyer's wife HAS left him. This book was released in January 2006, and I read it in the first days of March 2006. It was a really "icky" feeling to have that sort of joke made. Surely the author was told what the upcoming series was going to hold.
On through the story we move. I've always admired Natalie in the TV show as being a reasonably honest, caring single mother with good morals. In this book she is completely inane. She is VERY obsessed with breast size and comments on them repeatedly. Either she is upset that another woman has big breasts or is criticizing herself for not having giant ones. By the second or third reference I was rolling my eyes. Enough already!! Next, pair this up with her shallow view of men. She says that the main reason she was with her husband was that he was good looking. She's obsessed with the "hunky" fireman and then is worried that he might have a high pitched voice or something else to "ruin" him. She's interviewing an overweight male person and when he talks about taking a bath she says that she felt like she would have to *vomit* because of the mental image. This goes way beyond "changing Natalie". Natalie has turned into the most shallow, body-obsessed brainless twit that I have encountered as a heroine in a story in many years. It really, really upset me.
It goes further. After having a self-righteous attitude against many people she runs into, they head out onto an island of the wealthy. Natalie is quick to mention that she does "not have anything against the rich." Oh, ok, it's fine to bash heavy people and people with not-great breasts, but we wouldn't want to upset any readers that have money. Of course, because those with money might buy the book. Heck, they might also buy the many products that are name-dropped here too.
There are other, smaller issues. Monk is drinking milk, when it's made clear in the series that he would never do that. Natalie makes some comments that Monk must solve EVERY single crime he's presented with or not be kept on by the police. That is a rather inane thought for anyone even slightly related to the police to have. Pretty much every clue is telegraphed, so that I always had a sense of what was a waste of time and what was going to happen before it did.
There's a gleam of hope here - she apparently owned an AMC Pacer as her first car. That was my first car too. I felt a momentary kinship with her because of that - but it didn't take long before her rambling self-absorbed commentary completely drove me away again.
I'm not saying I dislike Monk, the setting or the story at all. I really did enjoy the story and general plotting. However, the damage done to the main character (i.e. Natalie) was incredible. It was very disturbing to me. If there's any sort of lobbying I can do for the second book to get Natalie to be more true to the series, I will do it. I would love reading Monk series for years - but having a Natalie like this will be true torture. Having typos and egregious Monk-errors is just silly in a book about someone who is obsessive compulsive and who clearly would have picked these out in one reading.

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Mr. Monk and The Blue Flu Review

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(More customer reviews)--Ever since Monk discovered a while back that the kindly old woman I used as a babysitter murdered her husband and buried him in her backyard, day care has been a problem for me.
Call me hooked! I love a laugh out loud mystery but they're not all that easy to find. I hit upon a real winner with Mr. Monk and the Blue Flu, by Lee Goldberg. Before I begin, I should confess, I've never seen the Monk show so I can judge this book purely on its own merits. I was entranced by the wonderful relationship between the nutty Monk and his faithful sidekick right from page one. It opens with a crime scene unfortunately located in a dog park and Monk's horror at having to approach the canine mine field is hilarious. The humor runs strong throughout the story but not at the expense of the mystery thread. I thought the astrological chart connection was ingenious (I resist the urge to spoil anything here) and the ragtag collection of oddball cops that Monk must bring in when he is promoted to chief during a police strike add a great dimension also.
Monk's genius is a double edged animal as he is in perpetual state of anxiety. He sees what's wrong in the world and his burden is to set it right. With an almost Sherlockian ability to make connections from the seemingly random, his struggle is both heartwarming and hilarious. Picture a tactical assault team ready to storm a building. One of the cops asks a Kevlar vested Monk if he is carrying a weapon.
--Monk reached into his pocket and pulled out half a dozen packets of disinfectant wipes. "They kill germs on contact," Monk said.
Wyatt grimaced in disgust. "Remain behind me and take cover when the shooting starts."
Monk nodded. "And when should I begin cowering?"
Now this is a hero I want to read about. I'm looking forward to enjoying all of Lee Goldberg's Monk series. Who knows? I may have to break down and watch the show. Nah. Books are always better anyway.

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Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story Review

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(More customer reviews)Quick personal note; My wife and I have twin 18 month old boys. I stay home with them during the day and work until 1:30 AM. Time is at a premium in my life right now. There's not much to spare and whatever spare time I can get a hold of would most likely be better spent sleeping. That being said, Christopher Moore's Blood Sucking Fiends hooked me the first night I opened the cover and kept me up until nearly 4AM.
I am a long time fan of horror and it would take quite some book to unnerve me to the point of insomnia. It wasn't a late night case of the heeby-jeebies that kept me up. It was the laughter and engaging characters. Moore has a relaxed witty style that translates to a very fast read. All of the characters in Fiends are incredibly likeable (save one) and the story is humorous and engaging. This fresh take on the joys and advantages of being a vampire set in San Franscisco made me want to walk the city and see the sites. I longed to meet a vivacious red-headed blood sucker who would set me up in an apartment and treat me like a cross between Stoker's Renfield and one of Cher's boy toys. I wanted to take the emperor to lunch with his dogs and become engaged to seven Chinese brothers so they could get their green cards. I wanted to work late nights stocking shelves in a supermarket and go bowling with frozen turkeys. (Oh, wait a sec. I have worked in a supermarket overnight and Moore knows exactly what goes on there.)
Christopher Moore weaves all of the above seamlessly and with great humor and affection to create one of the most enjoyable reads of recent memory. More Moore is on it's way to my house as we speak and I can't wait to read his advice on "Practical Demonkeeping" and see what happens in his world when a giant reptile is awakened by radioactive waste in "The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove".I may have a new favorite author.

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The Hunt (Red Dress Ink) Review

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(More customer reviews)While I have always remained partial to Sturman's first book in the Rachel Benjamin series, 'THE PACT' I have to regretfully admit that I now have a new favorite in this engaging series...'THE HUNT'! Not only was this installment filled with unexpected twists and turns (not only in the whodunit but also in Rachel and Peter's relationship) but it was also laugh out loud funny!
In the 'THE HUNT' Rachel finds herself, not so successfully in her opinion, trying to fit in with her super normal in-laws-to-be when her best friend Hillary seems to be abducted by a billionaire who does not want some sketchy information leaked just days before his company is supposed to go public. And journalist Hillary has collected all sorts of nasty tid-bits about this billionaire and his company and is all set to write her article when she disappears. Now it is up to Rachel and Company to find Hillary, thwart the company's endeavors to go public all the while trying to impress her soon to be in-laws! Stir all of these ingredients together and you have one hilarious concoction!
If you have enjoyed the rest of the series get ready to enjoy the best!

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Artificial Imagination (Special Edition): A Humorous Photostory Of A Journey Through Washington, California And Tennessee Review

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(More customer reviews)great book! love it!

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This expanded Second Edition of the book was published on May 27, 2011 and has 12 new chapters.

This humorous photo-book follows one man's journey through United States as he ventures from Silicon Valley to Seattle, San Francisco to San Diego in a quest for his dream job and his search for a place he could call home.

The book starts in 1987, at University of California campus in Davis, where it all began, where Artificial Imagination was conceived.We then fast forward by 15 years to 2002. Our main character, a Executive in the Software industry and working in Silicon Valley. Soon, he is heading to Seattle to work for Amazon.com at a lower level management position.

We read one lively story after another about the life in the Northwest and learn about his lovely wife and two daughters.

Our adventurer then heads to Nashville to work for a software company, and finally returns to California, when he gets caught in the infamous wild fires of 2007. Kudos to the author to be able to find humor in the middle of the Inferno!

A Review by John Lehman,the author of Everything is changingA Review by John Lehman,the author of Everything is changing

I was half way through this book when I realized it is almost poetry in the form of prose. I am not just referring to the short paragraphs, but the imaginative leaps, stunning imagery and most importantly, words which hook us in, make us think this is our story . . . . We see them on the page but live them in the theater of our imagination.

This book reminds us that we share the mysteries of the human mind and soul, no matter what our occupation, no matter where we were born. "Why I am here may appear to be a simple question, but . . . is there a deeper purpose of being where we are?" We know that the question applies not only to the location where we spend our lives, but also to overall existence, and our place in the time continuum.

Just as the author who traveled from New Delhi to Silicon Valley felt he has traveled forty years into the future, so do I, sitting in the agricultural landscape of Wisconsin felt that I have had a glimpse into the vitality of the Hi-Tech worlds of California and Seattle.

I feel I am in the hands of a good guide. Here is what it means to do research in Computers: "Rip apart an electronic system and you see nothing moving, nothing vibrating, it's almost a make-believe world, a child's fantasy, a writer's imagination."

and what it means to yearn for acceptance:"I looked at Seattle's glistening skyline on one side and its beautiful waterfront on the other and asked it the same questions I had asked San Francisco 16 years ago: will it accept me? Or will its people treat me as someone different, not one of the? And will I accept it, call it my home? Right then, she appeared from no where, as if the city had sent her to answer my questions . . ."

I loved the section addressing Seattle's slacker sun, that comes late to work, like at 9 AM and goes back home at 4, the observation that for males, until the age eight, we want every young woman to be our mother, then for the next thirty years our friend and when we have daughters, we feel like bringing every young woman a glass of warm milk and cookies.

His first day in Nashville, the author looks out of his window and sees snow. The conclusion he draws about the snow flakes very fittingly describes his life and the message we can take with us from this hip, funny, poignant, beautiful book: "the snowflakes descend slowly, floating in the air, allowing the current to carry them with it, letting it change their paths. They have chosen not to confront their destiny, choosing instead to enjoy every second of their short lives, their journey to the ground."

Welcome home, Kalpanik!

John Lehman, author of Everything is Changing

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No Guns, No Knives, No Personal Checks: The Tales of a San Francisco Cab Driver Review

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(More customer reviews)He eats Cheerios after getting home at 5:30 a.m. What no Maui Wowie? No London Iced Tea? He dutifully calls his girlfriend. Well, actually they aren't that friendly. (The girlfriend is an untold story.) He doesn't do anything or report on anything or do more than allude to anything but driving a cab. And he's very serious about the money. And the tips, and how to get them and how you can blow them off. He gives us the meter to the penny, and reports on the tip to the dime. But you can tell he really doesn't care. He worries about getting mugged and barfed on. He's patience and tolerant. But he's always smelling things. He looks for a dump in the backseat of his cab after some smelly guy has left. He can't find it. So he drives to a more lighted spot and searches some more. Nothing. Maybe he's losing it. His mind.
It's hard to tell at the beginning whether this is a memoir or a reportage. It reads like a string of closely related vignettes. But there is something holding it together. Hard to tell what it is. Except for the cab and The City and the derelicts and the poseurs and the transvestites and the drunks and the old people and the fat people and the night and the lights and the fear. Fear of guns and knives, or fear of being trapped in the job? He isn't sure. He tells himself he's driving a cab for the experience, to get material for The Novel. It's a sick world out there in the inner city. People are weird. He's taking notes and transcribing them when he gets home, turning it into Fiction.
He has a hero. Supercabman--himself. And he's a good hero, a cabbie psychologist and a wordsmith with a sharp satirical eye. He sizes people up, notes what they're wearing from their black leather pants to the grease spots on their shirts to their nose rings and bad teeth and bad breath and bad dye jobs, and how they are comporting themselves. Especially how they are comporting themselves. He has to. At three a.m. you don't want to make a mistake. Somebody's waving you down. Does he want a ride or your wad of bills? Hard to tell sometimes. Supercabman sees the city and it denizens without pity but then again with a minimum of judgment.
The cab's computer beeps messages. Sometimes he sends one himself. It sets off car alarms of nearby cars (ha, ha). He has his "cab policies." No smoking. That's tough. He pretends he's on the nicotine patch for commiseration. He has nicotine gum on the dash. Also pepper spray. (No plastic Jesus, though.) He knows how to small talk with the clientele and when Not to Ask and when to shut up. He's shrewd and cynical. Larry Sager is also one heck of a writer. Here's a bit from the "Safe Sex" chapter:
"Circling back and forth between a few different South of Market establishments finally turns up some stragglers: three men coming out of a popular gay bar, THE STUD on Harrison Street. One guy, who could easily pass as a bouncer, is wearing a bright bleached white tank-top tee shirt emphasizing his steroid-induced muscular build--6'3" and at least 225 pounds. His two companions climb into the back seat. One guy could be a GQ model; his partner sports the escaped-convict look--head shaved, beard unshaven, dressed in a Goth black shirt and black pants. And someone, pray tell, has taken several sharp metallic objects and run them straight through his face. It looks painful, but doesn't seem to bother him. Of the group, I spotted him first and I wasn't going to stop. But when GQ playfully grabbed the metal-pierced escaped-convict's buttocks, and both seemed to enjoy the routine, realized they were together and figured they were a safe pick-up. If anyone looking like Thug is flagging me from a ragged street corner in the Tenderloin, I do NOT stop." (p. 99)
The real strength of the book is in the sharp observations that Sager's alter ego makes about his passengers and himself. A nice technique is for him say one thing and think another, or to reply directly in his head to something somebody has said, but not aloud, as in this exchange with a really, really BAD painter who has just shown him her canvas which he notes to himself is "hideous awful":
"I still have some touching up to do," she says, as if expecting to hear an objection
from me regarding her own "harsh" criticism.
How about touching it up with kerosene and putting a match to it?
"Oh," I nod instead, pursing my lips tightly. (p. 214)
There are some nice line drawings by Shanon Essex and one by Emil of some of the characters to grace the text. I think Sager might have intended this opus originally as journalism, but found as he wrote the improvised dialogue (both interior and exterior) and the flights of fancy he took with some of the characters, that this story of a time in his life was better told as fiction.
Finally I have to note that this IS a novel however episodically constructed, and a very clever and original one, because suddenly there is an ending that catches us by surprise. Suddenly there is a denouement in the last chapter as he lets a passenger take over his cab. Suddenly the novel is over and we see the point of all that has gone before. There are a few solitary whiskeys, a phone call to the offstage girlfriend, a bit of haziness and then the end to an experience.

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Broke-Ass Stuart's Guide to Living Cheaply in San Francisco Review

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(More customer reviews)This is the first travel book I have ever sat down and read cover to cover for my own enjoyment. Broke-ass Stuart is not a travel guide, it is a voice. Don't get me wrong, the book is informative; however, what sets it apart is Stuart himself, a street-wise hipster who perfectly balances going with the flow and traditional San Francisco irreverence. Finally, Stuart gives it to you straight. If a place is cheap and bad he'll say it. If a place is expensive, he'll tell you to bring a friend and split it. Stuart represents a growing population who just wants to go out, have a great time and pay rent at the end of the month.

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